Thank You for Calling Me a Cunt

by Goof

So. I got called a "Cunt" today. The situation is as expected: Pissed-off man said to a woman who wasn't putting up with the abuse he was doling out; "You are being a fucking Cunt." Needless to say, I did not stay in that man's company any longer than necessary. I was not particularly offended by his choice of word, I was offended that he meant it in a derogatory fashion to indicate I was, in his mind, a horrible female human being, and he chose Cunt to sum up his opinion. Why is the word "Cunt" used to describe the worst of what a human can be (gender notwithstanding), instead of the best of what a human can be? Let's have a think about this verbal quagmire, shall we?

Wikipedia defines cunt as "a vulgar word for the vulva or vagina and is also used as a term of disparagement." Often called the "C-word", the acronym, "C. U. Next. Tuesday.", and a plethora of other colloquialisms, "Cunt" probably reigns supreme as one of the best words available to start a gender riot of biblical proportions at any time, location, or interest level.

Um, why?

Consider the physical attributes of a cunt: It is warm. It is moist. It fits like a glove. It's tough; it can take a pounding and be good to go with a relatively short recovery time. It has serious flexibility skills even gymnasts admire. And, as an added bonus, it even has orgasms! What's not to like, right? As a world society, we chose the physiological part of a woman's anatomy that is literally the birthplace of our species, creates intense pleasure and satisfaction for the woman and her partner, known as the "Holiest of Holies", to accuse and degrade another human based on their actions. Roughly 50% of the adult planet is hoping to bury themselves in the closest available cunt at any given moment. If a cunt is such a heinous creature, why on Earth would anyone want to get within 10 feet of the monster?! With perspective, a revamp of Cunt as a word of "disparagement" may be in order. If you wish to condemn a someone's behavior and reference the female perspective, "Bitch" or "Psycho-Bitch", could more accurately define the personal or social infraction than the sweet, erotic, and useful cunt, by anatomical definition. A disparaging feminine-associated word was used as the slam. He didn't call me an ass- everybody has one; he didn't call me a dick- I don't have one; he didn't call me a bitch- I wasn't "mean" enough? Beyond "mean"? Anyway, we as a world society, need to acknowledge how our choice of a word can have far-reaching derogatory effects not only for the individual, but also the social class of person they are categorized by, be it gender, genetics, geography, religion, sexual orientation, self- identity, or political orientation, to name a few. We do not have the right to judge others unless accused of a crime in a court of law, my friends. We must respect each person living their life to their own satisfaction. It may not be our cup o' tea, but it's not our life either.

Back to cunt: Please understand, I am not defending my actions which called the "C-word" into play, but calling me "Cunt", to try and shame me for my behavior maligned a favorite and very popular body part. I most sincerely apologize to my cunt for being called a "Cunt". I, in no way, meant to have such a lovely part of my anatomy spoken of with such hostility and disdain. Maybe I'll start a "Go Fund Me" page for the emotional trauma my cunt has endured since the incident.
Actually, after due consideration, I decided that being called a cunt may be one of the best unintended compliments I've received in a long time. Too bad I didn't get the t-shirt. Thank you for listening and have a pleasant tomorrow.