White Wolf in the Harvest Moon
The magical Harvest Moon waxed above me in the soothing coolness of the early autumn air as I
beseeched all the energies of the universe for their help and guidance. My mind was at a loss. My
heart; splintered into a million pieces. My soul, alone, all by itself in the universe. Again.
I had seen in my mind's eye, a beautiful, large white wolf sitting on a knoll in a distant field for months. I
sometimes get these images, unbidden, and I have no idea why they come. The wolf always faced
away from the house, watching outward to the world. I first thought it was the Alpha male, guarding the
pack's den from any unwelcome visitors. I was recently 'corrected'.
One night, the wolf turned its head
and looked at me. One look in her beautiful, golden amber eyes and I realized who/what she was; the
She was protecting the house and land, but the entire scope of her identity went further than her
protective duties on the acreage. After months of non-acknowledgement, she finally turned her head
my way, allowing me to know her. That amazing creature was on guard, but I mistook her purpose.
She was guarding and protecting- ME. Protecting the land was an incidental bonus.
Months ago, I asked for the house and land to be veiled and protected from any negative energies, and
that is when the wolves showed up. A pack, literally The Minions, as I called them- everybody but
the Alpha Queen, were shades of black. They loved us, the humans living here, and were happy and
diligent in their comfort and protection. Sensitive and loyal to us and our emotions, they rallied 'round
whenever we struggled on our life path. These loving protectors were easy to know- no hidden
agendas, just helpin' out some friends. As the evening chill encouraged me to leave my tearful petition
to the moon and I headed back inside, the Minions snuffled my hands, worried about me and my
emotional carnage. After reassuring them, I thanked everything working to support me and went to
heal as best I could, hoping sleep and unconsciousness would prepare me for the coming day. I asked
the Minions to show everybody in the house the same love and support they had shared with me and
went to bed.
The next day arrived. More emotional pain ensued. This was a soul-level conflict. Resolution was not
rapidly forthcoming, and I was emotionally shredded by the loss of a beautiful soul connection due to
free-will choices on our life path. Because I MUST honor and respect the choice of the individuals in
my life while continuing to love them through their life decisions, there is no blame, no finger-pointing,
no one to beat up, but myself. And I'm pretty good at it.
So that night, I again found myself in the
moonlight, tearfully petitioning the universe to help me understand the wisdom in this brutal life lesson,
totally at a loss as to how to move forward in a cold, changed world without the joyful experience of two
souls blending, creating a magnificent and powerful energy together. I again loved up the Minions and
went inside to hopefully find peace through blessed unconsciousness.
I don't know if it was the Moon or other energies in play that night, but I could not sleep. The events of
the past week tumbled around my head like a pre-school gymnastics squad. Was I out of my mind?
Was I being over-emotional? Was I overreacting? Was I trying to manipulate and/or control the other
soul involved? Were my feelings valid? All the options overthinking can throw out there... As I sat in
the dark, staring through the window into the moonlight, I admitted my complete lack of understanding
of where to go with this. It is a completely new life experience for me. I am a typical Libra, enjoying
balanced, long term relationships with friends based on love, trust, and honest enjoyment of the energy
blend created through our relationship as we find our place in the world. To come up against an issue
with another that cannot be discussed, worked through, understood and brought to common ground is
a rare experience for me. Despite my most determined effort to bring resolution and peace to the
situation on my own, I could not achieve my goal. Once again, bereft of a solution to the problem, I
closed my eyes and prayed for help. And there she was. The Alpha Queen.
She was standing off a bit, gazing at me with those incredible eyes, her soft white coat gleaming in the
moonlight. There was no feeling of anger or threat from her. I felt comfort, familiarity. I called to her,
and she wagged her tail gently and walked toward me. I held my hand out and she licked it, like a
devoted pet would. Looking into her eyes, I thanked her for finally coming to meet me and froze when I
recognized the soul looking back at me through those shining eyes.
This amazing creature, this glowing, powerful, Alpha Warrior Queen? She is me.
She is the warrior that protects the most sensitive parts of my nature as a human. For months, she
kept the world at bay as I healed from past wounds and released old energies no longer serving my
highest purpose. She let me play on the land without fear. She let me find my joy again. And now, she
is at my side, ready to protect me yet again. This time however, I need her close, like my own personal
bodyguard. The war is inside me, and I must be prepared because my 'soul battle' is forcing me to
choose the truth in my heart and knowledge gained through time on this earth over what the world has
put forth as it's 'reality'. It is not within my ability to accept less than what I have already lived in this
life. I must follow my own truth.
I told my White Wolf she was 'a good girl' and gave her a good ear-scratch to prove it, then called her
Home, back to my soul.